Sunday, October 7, 2012

Twenty Two is a Seatbelt

I feel like twenty two is a seatbelt. In college, I studied communications, video production, creative writing, prose fiction, and a dash of music business, but I didn't study music. Those four years were focused on developing marketable skills that would open practical pay-check doors.  I wanted to graduate with the ability to work. But all the while, music stayed on the back burner, simmering and impatient. Here and there, I performed at some bars and little things, but nothing substantial.  There were brief periods of time where I didn't even really write music.  My junior year was a real low point for creative endeavors. Somehow, my studies and my TV production work sucked me into this ever-busy cycle of monotony and allowed for little to no personal growth.  There's a certain amount that needs be sacrificed in order to grow professionally, but at all points, I felt empty.  18, 19, 20, 21.  They each went by without me accepting and embracing my music seriously.  Pretty crucial years, in fact. Having worked my ass off through school, I'm now allowing myself the freedom to zero in on my writing and my performing. Graduation was in May and since then I've been continuously busy working towards music. I've performed with and met some amazing folks who look at me first as a musician/friend and second as anything else.  In college, it was always "Dave, the TV guy that kind of plays music sometimes."  That's no one's fault but my own. If you embrace yourself, others will as well.  It's projection and interpretation, the give and take of interaction.  So now, I'm twenty two and I want more than anything to be running in high gear and performing all the time but my life just isn't there yet.  I want to take this so seriously that it consumes me the way that my education did for the last four years but I haven't had the time yet.  If I finally do that, though, I can say I'm working in the right direction. The ever-present issue is that I'm only twenty two. I need to travel, meet people, see places, fail, stand up, fail again, perform, succeed, change, grow. All of that takes time and, as I mentioned before, my music is impatient. But it'll get there. Bring it on, life, I need you to raise me.

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